


Miraculous! Tales of Beetlebug and Cat Noir

by BoxOnTheNile



Category: Red vs. Blue
Genre: Alternate Universe - Miraculous Ladybug Fusion, Cat Noir Locus, Fox Wielder Tucker, Ladybug Simmons, Multi, Nonbinary Locus, the ai are kwami and i should be stopped, you better believe im putting the bullshit lovesquare in this
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-02-12
Updated: 2019-02-12
Packaged: 2019-10-27 01:22:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,316
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17757116
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BoxOnTheNile/pseuds/BoxOnTheNile
Summary: The city of Armonia is a bustling metropolis with a lot to offer, if you can look past the magic monsters that attack every other week. Good thing they have their own team of superheroes!But, seriously. Who let these people be superheroes?





	Miraculous! Tales of Beetlebug and Cat Noir

**Author's Note:**

> so creatrixanimi drew [this](http://creatrixanimi.tumblr.com/post/180838353522/hey-guys-i-forgot-i-drew-cat-girl-locus-so-here) forever ago and I took one look at it and my little au goblin brain said "Chat Noir Locus" and I said "holy shit ur right" and now we're here.
> 
> So I'm gonna live my best life writing a ridiculous au that I'm already in love with, thanks.
> 
>  
> 
> ~~astruc tell me what the peafowl miraculous does so I can actually finish my goddamn outline~~

Simmons was good at his job. 

Technically, this wasn’t his _job_ job, though he was good at R and D, too.

But this? Ladybugs swarming over Armonia in a Miraculous Cure while Cat Noir comforted a young teen newly freed from Hawkmoth’s control? He was fucking _great_ at it.

At least, that’s what Grif told him.

“—and that last flip? When you snatched the keychain out of the air and crushed it with your bare hand? Fucking incredible.”

“It was showy, and Cat Noir got hit.” Simmons scowled at the video his husband was playing. “Their arm could have been broken.”

“As long as we’re okay, Cat Noir and his kwami will be fine as well.”

Simmons shot a glare at the tiny ladybird-esque creature floating next to him, but he could never be seriously upset with Theta for long. He sighed and stole an oreo from the package on the table, offering it to the kwami. “That doesn’t mean we should let them get hurt.”

“Theta’s right,” Grif said, plugging his phone into his laptop to transfer the video. “Your Miraculous Cure fixes everything.”

“We can’t just rely on it!” Simmons insisted. “What if—”

“Re~lax, bug boy.”

Simmons and Grif looked over as their apartment window slid shut, Russet Rouge slipping off the sill. His transformation released, and Tucker caught Epsilon as the kwami drifted down away from the Fox Miraculous.

“Oh look, the Moon Moon of Armonia,” Grif said, tossing another oreo at Tucker. He caught it and gave it to Epsilon, who accepted it and drifted over to lean, exhausted, against Theta.

“Dude, shut up, you fucking picked my superhero name. _You_ named me ‘Red Red,’ what the hell?”

“I named all of you except Cat Noir and Hawkmoth,” Grif said, then paused. “So basically you and Beetlebug.”

“Feel like naming another one?” Tucker asked. He crossed the room and opened the front door, peering out. “C’mon, Wash!”

“You could have come up the stairs like a normal person,” the Guardian of the Miraculous snapped as he came through the door, already shrugging off his backpack. “You used your illusions three times today, Tucker. Even kwami have their limits.”

“Hey, Wash.” Grif stood and held the backpack so Wash could finagle an ornately decorated box free. “I’m still saying no.”

“I’ll get you a Stone someday,” Wash promised, teasing, “but not this time.” He set the box on the coffee table. Theta darted over to settle atop Wash’s head, bright red in his fluffy blond hair. “Hey, T, how are you?”

“I miss North.”

Simmons silently excused himself to the kitchen to start coffee. Theta was usually open about the Ladybugs he’d had before, but North, the one just before Simmons, was still to recent a loss.

In fact, Simmons, Grif, and Tucker still weren’t one hundred percent certain when Wash became Guardian. He and the kwami referenced something terrible, but never gave details; just that the last Ladybug, Korovka, was gone, as was the previous Fox, and three Miraculous stones had been lost. The Black Cat and the Butterfly had resurfaced, but the Peafowl was still missing.

Tucker said Wash still had nightmares some nights, calling for the last Wielders. Simmons was terrified of losing Cat Noir and Russet Rouge the same way. 

Simmons brought out a mug and set it next to the Miracle Box. Theta was still curled up in Wash’s hair, and Epsilon seemed to be recovering now that he’d eaten.

“Who are we waking up this time?” Theta chirped.

“Iota,” Wash said, trailing his fingertips along the box to find the latch.

“The turtle?” Epsilon asked, finally speaking. “After Carolina?”

The others in the room went still, listening.

“Carolina,” Wash said, jaw tight, “tried to run two Miraculous at once. The only Stones that should be paired are the Cat and the Ladybug, and she knew that. It’s not Eta or Iota’s fault.”

“But they were hurt by it, too,” Epsilon argued. “That why the Turtle and the Bee were taken and she was given the Peafowl instead.”

“Please don’t argue again,” Tucker groaned. “You’ve been arguing for the last forever. It gets awkward.”

Grif patted Tucker’s shoulder. Theta flitted from Wash’s hair to hide under Simmons’s shirt. He immediately cupped his hand over the tiny god.

“Turtles?” Grif said, just loud enough to make it obvious he was changing the subject. “And a superhero name? Uh… shell or something… Shell Shock? Gross, no, that sounds like an akuma name, and I’m better than that.” He snapped his fingers. “Carapace.”

“You fucking Homestuck,” Simmons accused. Grif flipped him off.

“Carapace,” Wash repeated. “Fuck, he’ll love it.”

“So who’s joining our team?” Tucker asked. “Or are they a mystery, too?” He gave Simmons a pointed look.

“Cat Noir wants their privacy,” he said. “I don’t even know who they are under the mask.”

Wash cleared his throat as he pulled a corded bracelet from the box. The studs in Simmons’s ears grew warm, and Tucker absently reached for the chain around his neck.

Wash held the bracelet out to Grif. “I need you to put this in your boss’s desk.”

“Absolutely the fuck not,” Grif said.

 

* * *

 

Cat Noir dropped face first onto their couch. “Claws in,” they groaned, and the magic released. Sam Ortez turned onto their back, a fairy-like kitten settling onto their chest.

“You should eat,” Delta said, sounding as worn as Sam felt. They hummed noncommittally, and Delta patted them with a tiny paw. “Samuel.”

“Sam,” they corrected. “I’m going.” They shoved to their feet, dragging into the kitchen to pull a tupperware of soup out of the fridge and dump it into a saucepan. They grabbed a few individual cheddar slices and fed small pieces to Delta while the soup heated.

Idly, they rolled their shoulder. The akuma had flung them into a building, but it had given Beetlebug a chance to grab the keychain infested by Hawkmoth’s butterfly. Despite the magic of Cat Noir’s suit, it had dislocated. The Miraculous Cure repaired everything, of course, but Sam could swear it still felt sore.

“You didn’t have to take that hit,” Delta told them, settling onto their wrist. “Russet Rouge had an opening.”

“The fight had gone on too long already,” Sam argued. They stirred the soup, careful of the kwami on their wrist. “And she was a child.”

“She was Isabel’s age.”

Sam didn’t reply, but they knew Delta was right. The akuma today was one of the youngest yet, twelve or thirteen. She could have been Izzy’s classmate. She could have been _Izzy_. The idea of fighting their goddaughter made their stomach turn. 

Delta sighed. “Why are my Chosen always so… anxious?”

“Maybe it’s the bad luck?”

Delta smacked their hand with his tail. Sam laughed softly, and Delta floated up off their hand to tuck into their hair. Sam felt him settle on their shoulder and twisted their ring around with their thumb. “Tell me about the last Cat?”

“Familiar was… reckless,” Delta said. “He was always in the middle of things, trusting Pfau and Korovka to have his back. I’m certain he loved them.” 

Sam hummed sadly as they turned the soup down to a simmer. Familiar had lived up to his name, supporting his Ladybug and Peafowl, willing to take all of the injury and none of the credit.

Delta kept speaking. “But he was smart, and he learned how to turn our misfortune against his adversaries.”

“Why did he chose me?”

Delta blinked up at him with his luminous green eyes, blinking slowly. “I don’t know, but I believe York was correct in his choice.”

Sam stilled in their stirring. York. Delta had never shared the last Cat’s name before now. “Was he?”

“Of course he was,” Delta said simply. “Eat, kit.”

“I’m glad he chose me,” Sam admitted softly. “I finally feel like I’m doing something good.”

**Author's Note:**

> I have... the first draft of the next chapter written, but i'm probably gonna rip the whole thing apart this week. Anyway.


End file.
